It feels really embarrassing and disheartening to constantly approach somebody to seek for endless advice and guidance but im human afterall so thank you mother once again for everything... Went to eastcoast with her yesterday, we went out of the house at 2.45 am, haha...it wasnt planned, just the sudden urged to get out of the house immediately. She met her friends over there. She looked happy. They were discussing on their next trip to one of the olf folks home, planning what to get for the elderly over there...i couldn't help it but to laugh the hell out when her friend asked " I wonder when is our turn?" and she looked at me...haha... After 30 minutes, i decided to walk around and sat by the beach...kinda eerie...haha...but it feels good to just sit down and relax...(no no im not emoing) just comtemplating on some stuffs...as i was sitting down, i saw this elderly malay couple teasing one another...i was like eeeeuuuu...haha...but it was sweet though to see their love blossoming even at a very late stage...my eyes turned green. Looking back on what had happened throughout these years, i realised that i've lost the battle. Yes its true. However its not too late nor absurd for me to rise up and change my destiny.With the wonderful people i have around me, i think that would be possible, however i am aware of the obstacles and challenges that i have to go through... For now i just have to wait and see...i have to admit, i hate looking at myself now, my reflection has thus become my enermy....it spoils everything...almost. Yesterday summed it all up, i got the answers to all my questions...almost. It hurts terribly, but i realised that we can't get everything that we yearn for...may u be contented with your decision. May God bless us...
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